bonding

[sarahandcharlie]

hi my name is sarah im new here, i have had my african grey congo charlie just over a month, he is 5, well he is lovely but he doesnt seem to like me much well what i mean is he has chosen my partner, i knew this could happen but is there anything i can do to sway his choice?
i feed, clean and things i can get him to step up and sometimes he will let me touch his head, i have spent loads of time with him talking to him reading etc, but as soon as my partner gets home he wants nothing to do with me and can bite, i hope it wont always be like this it is upsetting as i love him dearly.

[Lisa B]

hello and welcome.
a month is not a real lot of time. just keep workin on it and do fun things together. try more interaction but hands off.
your partner probably reminds your baby of someone...
know your bird is being a typical grey so try not to take it personally..

[sarahandcharlie]

hello, thank you for responding, what type of fun things do you suggest i try he only seems interested in being let out of the cage!

[Habib]

I have a similar problem and need some advice. Our baby is now about 3 months old. I give him loads of attention and talk to him but he doesnt want to communicate with me. He likes my wife and son and dislikes the youngest son. Wife feeds him the most but I sometimes help. I do tell him off quite often so maybe that has something to do with it.

Any advice please.

[JSanta]

Originally Posted by Habib

I have a similar problem and need some advice. Our baby is now about 3 months old. I give him loads of attention and talk to him but he doesnt want to communicate with me. He likes my wife and son and dislikes the youngest son. Wife feeds him the most but I sometimes help. I do tell him off quite often so maybe that has something to do with it.

Any advice please.

Well if by telling off you mean yelling or scolding, then stop that. Immediately. It doesn't do anything positive. It will make the dislike the animal has for you that much stronger.

[Habib]

I dont shout at him. I say no and then push him away or give him a distraction. Problem is I have to say NO too often and I does sort of understand that but obvioulsy feels that I am not welcome company. I will get a good book.

[JSanta]

Books are obviously helpful, but you just have to keep in mind that discipline that works for people doesn't necessarily work for animals, especially birds. If the bird is doing something that you don't approve of, ignore it. Giving any kind of reaction only reinforces the behavior. For a while my CAG was being quite obnoxious, but we ignored her. It took a while, but she got the point.

[chent]

I have the opposite problem. My daughter's recently adopted 5 y/o CAG (Princess) has bonded with me, probably because I remind her of a previous owner. My daughter felt hurt, but the good news is that she can still handle Princess rather easily. Princess will bite her if I'm around so I encourage my daughter to spend time alone with her, and I try to be more "hands off." My daughter is 11 so I do still need to be able to handle Princess. I would suggest that your partner not give Charlie any treats, and allow you and Charlie to spend time together with nobody around. It may be that Charlie remains bonded to your partner, but that doesn't mean that he won't accept you also. Good luck!