New here, confusing behavior

[Drinkiedamus]

Hi everyone!

I wanted to first say hello, I'm new to these forums and it's great to be here! My name is Dena, I'm a 27-year-old mommy of a 3-year-old CAG named Chino, whom I've had since he was 18 weeks old. He is definitely a mama's boy. I have absolutely zero fear of him or his beak. My husband, on the other hand, is pretty fearful of his beak. It's been 3 years, and though my husband helps clean the cage and whatnot, Chino won't even take a favorite treat from him. He'll go to give it to him, and Chino will take it angrily and throw it on the ground. I can go and take the same treat that he threw and give it to him, and he'll take it. It's almost funny but I don't laugh outloud as to reinforce it lol. My husband cannot pick him up, unless it's off the floor, and even then sometimes Chino will try to give him a good bite. He draws blood from him every now and again, even though my husband doesn't even react to the bites anymore--he gives Chino little to no reaction.

Sometimes, Chino will let my husband give him a couple scratchies, but he'll do the good old African Grey "bait and bite" most of the time. Even with little reaction, this seems to not deter Chino from continuing this behavior.

That's not necessarily the strange behavior the thread title is referring to, but I wanted to give it as a background. Chino usually comes on the couch with us every night, multiple times. Usually the first thing he does is either go and lunge at my husband to bite his leg, or just simply sit there for about 5 min with puffy, happy feathers, before trying to somehow bite his stomach, arm or leg area. It ALWAYS ends up this way. Then he'll come to me, and ask for real scratchies without biting or anything (probably because he knows mommy will put him in his place lol).

The curious part of this, and I was wondering what you guys make of it, is that when my husband leaves the room or goes outside to smoke, Chino gets really upset and doesn't calm down until he comes back in. But if my husband leaves to go out of the house for a long period of time, Chino is fine with it, and not only is he fine with it, he's almost always a mushy little baby with me and all he wants to do is talk up a storm and cuddle. If all he wants to do is bite my husband, won't let my husband pick him up or barely touch him at all, why does he get so upset if he goes outside or leaves the room? He doesn't even get as upset if I leave the room or house. It's also weird because sometimes when we both come home from work (which is atthe same exact time since we work together), Chino will be looking more at my husband than at me--in a happy way. It's such conflicting, confusing behavior. Is it that he sees my husband as the "rival toy"? Chino usually hates it when my husband hugs me, he comes running over like a lunatic lol.

What is up with all of this? We have some ideas but I'd love to hear what you guys think about it. Looking forward to your responses!! Thanks a lot!


-Dena

[Lisa B]

Well, you could be talking about my Stirling. **lol**
its not as rare as you would think.
Stirling will talk with my husband, call for him, interact, but there will not be any touching or picking up. It will result in blood.
Stirling will not accept treats from him. Stirling will snap them out of his hand and throw them( kinda like protesting his friendliness)
Stirling will talk to him and call him when out of site.
Stirling was fine when my husband was serving in Iraq, but doesnt like when he takes off upstairs to change for bed.
Stirling will sit with me, play with me, I can scratch and feed, he also feeds me, but he rarely talks to me.

Chino probably does see your husband as some sort of rival, but realizes that your husband is also part of the flock. they are highly sensitive creatures, and smarter then we give them credit for.
the reactions Chino is displaying is because he is letting your hubby know that he is trying to keep him in place. He's also in that adolecent stage where he is feeling his oats.

[Lisa B]

oh and welcome to you both!!!!

[fozzie62]

Welcome!
Oh these little grey confusing things!
I would really like to know what goes on in these little minds of theirs.

[FloorCandy]

My Henry is very similar. I can hold him, play with him, cuddle him etc, basically from the first day I got him as a rehome. He does not like men though. He used to take treats from hubby and throw them on the ground, and if it didn't go through the grate, he climbed down and pushed it through. Now he almost always accepts treats nicely, even from my brother and stepdad. He does most of his talking when he is alone, like while I'm showering, or doing laundry, or before we get up in the morning. He does talk to me, he says good morning when I come down, and he chats sporadically through the day, but the most is when he's alone. When hubby leaves the room, he often gets very vocal, but doesn't seem distressed, he seems to celebrate like he won, sometimes he will even go beat up a toy lol. I think they just have quirky personalities, its funny how things are so black and white for them, he knows a male at any age, long hair, etc, you can't fool him, and he automatically hates all men. Hubby thinks he can work on this with him, but I think once a grey really makes up their mind they stick to it. Maybe the best my hubby can hope for is to be able to feed him without a glove and sleeve lol.

[gteer]

We got Dino when he was 6 weeks old and he was a Daddy's boy for 4 months. Then one day his Daddy came home from work and he fluffed up and lunged at him. He is now Mommy's baby. Dino considers his Daddy as a rival in the flock. He absolutely hates when I get a kiss or hug. He does expect his daddy to give him a treat as soon as he comes home from work plus he knows about the time when he should be home. Dino will say "Is Daddy at the store getting me food?". He also doesn't play until his daddy gets home. And he only begs and takes people food from him and not me, As soon as it gets dark he tells his daddy "night, night" and gives him the kiss sound. Dino will be 5 yrs. old June 1st and I don't see any of this changing. He now only flies to me and even if I am in bed and his daddy lets him out of the cage he will fly only to my chair.